- [Narrator] Good evening and welcome to The Upper Cumberland Camera.

On tonight's show we'll take a look at the foster care program.

Administered by the State Department of Human Services.

We asked Lee Smith, Social Services supervisor for Overton County, what the foster care program is.

- It's a temporary family arrangement, where foster parents accept children into their home who have been neglected or abused, or in some type of a crisis situation where they need a safety measure.

And take care of them until the department can place them back with their natural family.

We have realized through a great deal of experience and over many years, that foster care is oftentimes very beneficial for the child but not really the best plan for any longterm.

And we've seen children that indeed have problems when they come into care and then maybe have increased problems if they stay in care very long.

Children that are neglected and abused by their parents or relatives, still love their parents for the most part or in most cases.

And do want very badly to go home.

And so, we do what we can, as fast as we can to rehabilitate and to get those children home, because we do think that's where they should be.

It's very temporary.

We hope that a child would never have to stay in foster care more than a few months, just to give the department long enough to work with the family, so that they could go home.

But of course it doesn't always work that way.

Sometimes we work with natural families who have too numerous problems to be straightened out within a few month period of time.

And when it's not safe for the children to go home, then of course, we keep them in foster care and they do receive as good a care as one could receive in an alternate living arrangement.

But we do strive to get them back home within a few months.

Our foster parent training that we do, the five sessions that we have at least five sessions, in which we try to train foster parents.

We emphasize that children are going to come to them with problems.

That it is definitely not a bed of roses.

That children are going to have resentments.

And they're going to of course be sad and upset.

And, but sometimes more than that.

Sometimes apathetic.

Sometimes they don't even show emotion.

Sometimes they call everyone every home that they're in, the day they walk into a foster home, they call them mom and dad.

Like they really don't know what a real mom and dad is.

And they'll call one foster parent, mom and dad.

And then the next time they move, they'll call them mom and dad the first day.

And that's awful sad to me because they just don't have a strong attachment to anybody.

And we try to, you know make the foster parents aware of this.

Also, I think that we emphasize that children are going to have a great influence on their own children.

And that the foster parents need to think of this.

When a foster child comes into their home, that's been reared totally different from the way they would rear their own.

They've maybe learned to curse, maybe learned a lot about sex.

They've not done well in school.

Not had much motivation or encouragement from their own family.

Then these kinds of things could possibly rub off on the natural children of the foster parents.

And sometimes when this realization hits the foster parents, they take a second look, as to whether they are indeed able to be foster parents for that reason.

But we try to prepare them for this, so that they can make this decision before they ever start.

- [Narrator] When people think of becoming foster parents they usually have in mind caring for younger children.

But Peggy Little, Human Services Supervisor in Putnam County, explains that the Foster Care Program's greatest need is care for older children.

- We have a great deal of trouble placing the older child.

As with couples who are thinking in terms of adopting, everyone thinks of the young child.

A little baby, the toddler that's a foster care child.

And that isn't necessarily true.

In fact, right here in this County, that's far from true.

We have very few young children.

Most of our children are school age and they're teenagers.

And those children are very difficult to place.

Most people feel that they can't cope with those problems.

They can't deal with that child.

And I think they really have stuck in their mind the vision of a baby.

A very young, sweet little child.

And when we ask someone to take a teenager into their home, we usually get a no.

And it makes it very difficult for us, for the child and for the family of the child.

All we can do is explain to the foster parent, the child's needs, the child's age, the problems that the child has suffered that necessitated its removal from the parents' home.

At the point that they refuse, we can't force them to take the child.

They have the right to say no.

Then we have to seek foster homes elsewhere.

We're a 14 County region.

And that means that I have to go to other counties in the region asking if they will accept that child in their home.

When I cannot find a home at all in this region, then I have to go outside the region to find a home for that child.

Because the child has to stay somewhere.

It makes it very difficult for the child, because it takes them a greater distance from their family.

It breaks them away from their school.

It breaks them away from their friends.

And they have to set up a whole new life.

Moving into a brand new home, a whole new school situation, everything.

Then they are entitled, and so are the parents of the child, to family visits.

And then it means trying to arrange to get the family to see the child, getting the child back here for family visits.

And it can really tie up a caseworker's time as well because she may be involved in the transportation of that child, where it needs to go.

We really feel like, that the closer the child can be to the parents, the better able we are to serve the child, the family.

To work toward rehabilitation and reunite that child with it's family at a very early date.

The longer the child remains in foster care, the harder it is for everyone.

And our main objective when we remove a child from a family, is to reunite that family as quickly as possible.

More frequently than not, we are able to reunite the child and family.

It sometimes happens quickly.

Other times, it may take several months or a year.

But when we're waiting that long, we're seeing progress being made and we're continue to work toward making the home safe for the child's return.

Only at the point that we realize that no progress has been made whatsoever, do we seek to terminate parental rights and place the child for adoption?

Right now in this County, we have 11 foster homes approved.

And that's a very small amount for us.

At one time, we had 27.

And we're down to 11.

For all of those homes, for one reason or another, I can not place any children in at all.

That only leaves seven homes, and those homes are crowded.

And they don't have room for another child, or they don't feel that I can take on another child's problem.

And this means that we have to go elsewhere for that child to be taken care of.

We are desperately in need of foster homes in this County.

And foster homes that are willing to foster the older child, because those are the children that we now have.

Your school age child, your teenager, those are the children that we seem to be getting in care right now.

We have very few young children.

And those children need homes.

So we need people who are willing to go an extra mile and dedicate themselves to a child of that age, that they can work with and cope with.

These children, in most instances are fairly normal children.

It's the parent that has the problem, not the child.

And the child may develop some, because it's confusion of trying to identify with two different families.

And of course, reaching their teenage years and experiencing the problems that any teenager experiences.

Then they have the problem of being in that foster home adjusting to that last style, going back for family visits.

And being confused and uncertain of where they're at and what's happening to them.

And why can't I go home?

And all the questions that children would ask.

And then they may go back into the foster home and they act out and act up.

And a foster parent finds that hard to deal with.

And they might not be the only child in that home.

And they just feel that I can't deal with that problem any longer.

That they would rather that child go elsewhere.

And someone else work with that child because I can't any longer.

Which means moving the child again.

And it's very hard on any child.

I don't think any of us like changes in our lives constantly and trying to fit in someplace else.

- [Interviewer] So this shuffling around of kids is really very hard on them?

- Yes, it is extremely hard on them.

And they really need to remain in one place and in one home until they can go back home to their parents.

Or if that's not possible, then termination of parental rights in placing an adoptive home, where they will have some stability in their life.

- [Narrator] One of the links between foster parents and children and The Department of Human Services, is the social counselor.

Francis Hare is a social counselor in Putnam County.

She talked about her work in the foster care program.

- It involves working with the foster children themselves.

We go to their homes and visit with them there.

We work on the problems that they may have related to being placed in foster care.

Some of our children have emotional problems, physical problems.

And we work with them in this area, with our own dealings with the children as counselors.

We take them to Putnam Mental Health Center or Shallow Shan.

We work with the school systems and their teachers.

To try to alleviate any problems that they have.

- [Interviewer] And I know you try and avoid it but sometimes I guess it's necessary to move a child from one home to another?

- Yes, yes it is.

- [Interviewer] So what's the effect on the child when that happens?

- It can be devastating.

Sometimes the move is the best thing that happened to the child.

But when you have a child that is constantly having to be moved from foster parent to foster parent, the behavior problems grow.

And it makes it harder to work with the child and to earn the trust of the child.

- [Interviewer] You're doing the counseling with new foster parents, I mean, as part of their orientation or whatever?

- Right.

We do studies.

Foster parent group studies.

Is trying that these people have to go through before they can become foster parents.

And we deal with foster children, the foster family, you know, what's expected of them.

And what they do to be foster parents and how they react.

We deal with the birth families, what the foster parents need to do to help in that situation.

- We want very badly for our foster parents to realize that, they are an integral part of our work with the children and with the parents.

And they can help the child so much adjust to the time that they have to spend in the foster home.

By for instance, possibly allowing the natural family to visit the foster child in the foster home.

You know, by always speaking well of the birth family or the natural family in front of the child.

And by helping the natural family to understand the child and understand the child's problems and, you know, keep the natural family informed about the child's schoolwork or medical problems, or whatever the case may be.

Kind of like you would want your grandparents to do for a child, if you know, you for some reason had a crisis in your home and had to let your own parents take care of your child.

You know, you know then in that situation, your grandparents or parents, your parents or the grandparents of the children, would keep you informed as how everything was going with the children.

And they want you to be a part of decisions that they made for the children.

And this is kind of, you know, what we want because we don't want these children to forget their parents.

And, we want everything to go as smoothly as possible.

And we really need the foster parents help in this.

And sometimes foster parents can't deal with this.

They feel that people that who would neglect or abuse their children, don't need to be with their children.

And I try to think, and to remind them that some of the people that have neglected and abused their children, were neglected and abused also when they were younger.

And we need to keep in mind that they need help as much as the child does.

And we need to do what we can to help them.

And to be as sympathetic as possible, while providing a safe arrangement for the child.

Sometimes we're not able to let the parents visit children unsupervised.

Because possibly parents have abused a child so badly that it would not be safe for the child to visit in an unsupervised situation.

Either in the foster home or away from the foster home.

But most of the time, it is our desire that the foster family and the child and us and the natural family, have a a good working, caring relationship.

- [Interviewer] Foster parents, the people who are willing to provide temporary shelter for children who cannot live with their natural parents, are one of the most important components of the Foster Care Program.

Sandra and Bob Arnold of Livingston, described their experiences, as foster parents.

- We've been involved for 10 years.

We got our first child 10 years ago.

- [Interviewer] So and in that time, how many children have you kept here?

- We've had 20.

- [Interviewer] 20?

- Have the 20th one now.

We have only had one on a real long term.

We had a daughter that she lived with us for seven or eight years.

I forget just how long it was.

And then she married.

And she now has her first child which is our first grandchild.

And she's in the Coldwell hospital now.

We will be coming here tomorrow with our baby.

- [Interviewer] So you do keep in touch with children after they leave your home.

- Some of them.

Were not able to keep in touch with all of them, but, and some of them it's best that we don't, but because they're adopted and they have their own families after that.

But some of them, like we have kept in touch with her because she went to college from our home and married.

And she has just been like a real daughter to us.

- [Interviewer] Don't you have natural children too?

- We have three.

And they have done wonderful with the foster children.

They have just adapted to everybody we brought in.

They just adapt to them and have done well.

- [Interviewer] I know there is one now, is when they're taken care of (mumbles).

(laughing) - Yeah.

- He does real well.

He's a good babysitter.

- He has said that he'll make a good wife for somebody, cause he tends to the baby all the time.

- Our two older children are gone from home now and they live away from home.

- [Interviewer] Is I don't know, in a way it must be harder if you have your own children plus foster children.

But in a way it must be easier too, cause they can sometimes share some of the chores of raising, of helping care for these kids.

- That's true.

Yes.

Like she said, a minute ago, they've all accepted all the foster children that came in and shared and everything.

- [Interviewer] Why did, 10 years ago, why did you get started in the Foster Program?

What was it that made you think you'd wanna help?

- We just wanted to open our home up to someone whose less fortunate than us, and provide something for them at a time in their life that they needed some care.

- Without seeming over religious, we feel like that, this is a thing that the Lord has led us into.

And He has taken care of every situation.

Where, when we had the four little kids, and they just ate everything that came through the house.

But we always managed, and always had clothes for them and food.

And it's the same way with a baby is the most expensive of all.

But we've always managed.

- I think our church has helped a great deal in us providing care for foster children.

They have always accepted all the children that we have brought in.

Whether it be black or white.

And we haven't had any problems at all.

- And our families.

We couldn't have done it without all the support we've had.

When we've had problem children, the people at church, you know, the Sunday school teachers, and people like that have just helped in every way they can.

And also the school teachers.

The elementary school here is really wonderful to help you when you have problem children.

They have been for us.

They've just been real supportive.

- [Narrator] Bill and Peggy Glasscock of Baxter, Tennessee are relatively new to the Foster Care Program.

They have been opening their home to children for a little over three years.

We spoke to Ms. Glasscock about her experiences as a foster parent.

- [Interviewer] Why did you get started in the program?

- For the reason that we can have children around.

And it was lots of not having any after, well I come from a large family.

Seven children and so no kids around, made it difficult.

We need more foster parents.

There's a great reward in it.

When you know, you've helped one, just even for a few days.

And you see when they come to you, and they're scared most of them.

Some of them, you know really the smaller ones, of course, you know you don't notice it as much.

But the older ones they're, you can tell they're, you know, you can feel their tension.

And, but they really do need someone that'll love them.

And I'd say, if you've got love to give, then that's the thing, really.

The ones that are abused, they seem to need more love.

I mean, they need to see it expressed more, I think.

And it's, you don't always know how to deal with them, but I've seen, well, you see respect, you know before you see love.

But at first you don't always see respect, but then when you watch them, and they know that you are looking in their best interest and you know, then they can relate to you a little better.

- [Interviewer] What's the most number of children you've had in your home at one time?

- Four.

Of course we had our own, and then we had a two and a half year old and a six and an eight year old.

- [Interviewer] What was that like?

- Hectic.

(laughing) I mean, it was maddening.

It was, you know, I really didn't even know how to put them in the car, (laughing) cause we had a little Toyota.

And, but it was, but they seem to help each other.

Of course, the other three were brothers and sisters, and they were used to each other.

So it was easier for them to adapt because they were with their brothers and sister.

- [Interviewer] Now you now have a son that you have adopted.

- Yes.

- [Interviewer] Are you going to continue bring... well you do have a foster child in the home right now don't you?

- Yes, we have.

Yeah.

We have one named Matthew.

- [Interviewer] Do you ever worry about the effect that foster children coming in may have on your son now?

- Yes.

I didn't think too much about it until we got the last one.

And of course he calls him brother.

And the visits to their mother upset him.

He doesn't want us to leave him with him, you know with the mother.

And because he feels like he is his brother.

And I have, I've wondered about that.

How I'm gonna deal with him when the time comes that he does go back to his mother.

Because he, well, until we, the newborn, he loved him and he still talks about him.

And it's been two years.

But he still asked about him.

So he definitely feels close to him.

I mean, you know, he accepts him, you know, wholeheartedly.

And then it's hard for him to adjust when they leave too.

- [Narrator] At a recent foster care orientation meeting held in Sparta, Harold and Virginia Buchoven spoke to prospective foster parents, about their experiences in foster care.

The Buchoven's have been licensed to provide foster care in three States.

And then in the last 16 years, have cared for over 30 children.

- The Foster Care we have really enjoyed it.

And I'll tell you where it will be the most rewarding piece of work you will ever do in your entire life.

Believe me.

A lot of people say, "Oh, why do you wanna do this?

Gee y'all could travel.

You can do whatever you want to do.

Why do you want to get, you know and you're giving up a lot."

But we aren't.

What we get from these children is just phenomenal.

I'll tell you one thing, they will teach you to think about somebody else, other than yourself.

You never have time to get engrossed in yourself.

You know, cause you're busy taking care of somebody else.

And they give you so much, you know.

Those little smiles.

Most times we've had they've come with absolutely nothing.

And the only thing when you take these little children, you buy them outfits you know, and everything.

(gasping) New shoes, I've got new shoes.

They don't wanna let you go, you know.

You go shopping or something, they say, look I've got new shoes, or I've got a new sweater.

They are sort of pleased, with any little thing you do for them.

And like I said, anybody who wants to become a foster parent, you'll never in your life, do anything that will make you feel so good about what you're doing in giving to others.

- I had, as I recall, I had reservations, about going into the program when we first started back in 1968 I think it was or 67.

We discussed it and we never had children.

In fact, I had a cousin who had a couple of Renegade boys and we used to lock the door when we saw them coming, You know, because we always had nice homes.

We didn't want them to come in and they destroy the place.

You know, if they'd been there for an hour.

And so I wondered whether or not I would be kind enough to be able to take care of somebody else's child particularly.

And we finally said, well we'll try it.

I feel a better person.

And the love and the feelings that we have gotten back from these children, that have meant more than anything.

It seems to me, to be the most rewarding thing that I have ever done in my lifetime.

And I have had some fantastic experiences.

Like, I've worked in Hollywood with a lot of the stars.

I was in the studios.

Hellroad studio, MGM.

And I mean, I've had a fabulous career.

But this has been the highlight of my life.

- This is the best career.

- Yeah.

- [Interviewer] I'll ask you, what's the most challenging thing, or what's the hardest thing about being a foster parent?

What's the best thing?

- All the memories that you have.

You can, I keep a scrapbook of all the kids and you can go back through it and just relive on all the things.

And you have lots, and you have more good memories than you do bad memories.

- Having them call you mama and daddy and seeing them grow to love you.

At first, they're scared.

And you don't always know how to deal with them.

But you you see their personality as time goes on, you see their, you know, each one's personality.

And then you can see them start to really love you, instead of just, you know, looking to you for their welfare.

But then you can see them start to love you.

And that's three reward right there.

Each one take, you know, pictures of.

And, because years later, I may forget what they looked like.

You know, just each individual.

Probably won't, you know, forget them exactly, but you know their faces may fade.

So I keep a scrapbook album and it it's...

I found that rewarding.

Cause I still like to go no longer than it's been.

I still like to go back and look through it every once in a while now.

- Knowing that they've done the very best for that child that they can, that they've helped that child along in it's growth, and perhaps have given it some values while it's been in their home, that will carry with them to through life.

And usually that works out that way because, so many of the foster parents, when I was a caseworker and working with them.

Will come back to me here at the office or they'll call me, they'll call me at home.

Or they would see me in town?

And they'll say, "Oh, so-and-so called me last week.

Or I got a letter from so-and-so".

And they'll share with me and these children keep contact with those foster parents because they continue to have feelings and love for them.

Lots of times, birthdays and Christmases packages that are delivered here asking me if I can get them onto those children.

So their greatest benefit is the love they have for those children.

The love they received from the children.

And knowing that they have really helped those children in their life.

- Sometimes it's a slow process.

And the foster parents have to be willing to maybe tell the child, I love you and not hear anything back.

And they have to, they have to prove through a lot of efforts that they can be trusted.

Because the child has learned to trust nobody.

And so it's hard being a foster parent.

Because we want them to love them like they love their own.

And then give them up when the time comes that needs to happen.

And that's a lot to ask of a person.

And it does, it takes a special type of person to do that.

- [Narrator] If you would like more information about the Foster Care Program, or if you're interested in becoming a foster parent, contact your local Department of Human Services office.

(lighthearted guitar music)